Just so you know...

Someone told me I should talk more about the goings-on in my life because people want to know.  I don't know if it's humility or shyness, but I tend to doubt that others are really interested in what I'm doing.  But here it goes.

Something has been weighing on our minds for about a year and half now.  We decided we were ready to start our family.  We thought the hardest part would be deciding to stop birth control, and that once we stopped we would have a baby a year later.  Oh the naiveté.

We have "tried" for over 18 months on our own, with nothing.  Some months I was even 1-2 weeks late, still nothing.  All the while we are being bombarded with pregnancy announcements at church, on Facebook, at work, etc.  The hardest is having to hear about unplanned and unwanted pregnancies.  Wouldn't it be more fair to me and to those children to come to a family who is ready and waiting for them?  Rather than being seen as a "burden" in another family?

Last month we decided to seek medical help, to see if there was anything physically preventing pregnancy.  My blood tests came back normal, my HSG test showed no blockages, and Doug's test came back normal too.  They put me on a low dose of Clomid and after I got a positive ovulation test we went in for an IUI.  One week after the IUI, I went in for a Progesterone test and it came back at a high enough level to show that I had ovulated.  But the following week I still started my period. Again.  We are going to try the Clomid and IUI again this month.  And if it doesn't work we will go in for a follow up consultation with the doctor.

I guess the point of this post is to inform you of our situation.  We're not looking for pity, I'm aware a lot of people go through this same thing.  I just want people to understand.  I don't want people judging us based on our lack of children; thinking it is our choice.  We have bought nice things and go on vacations but we're not doing it instead of starting a family.  Sometimes a little retail therapy is what I need to keep my mind off the depressive state I'm in.  I dote on my cats and treat them like children, because they're all I've got.

I think part of the reason I've kept this to myself is that once I tell one person, the news will leak out just a little.  Then I would have to re-hash the whole story to every one, and that's just too hard.  It makes it too real once you say it out loud.  I really don't mind people knowing, I just don't want to be the one to say it.  I would appreciate and welcome thoughts and prayers on our behalf.  If you want to do extra prayers for twins (kill two birds with one stone), more power to you!