The word "NOT" was missing

After the Sucky September, it took a while for Doug and I to emotionally recover.  The doctor said we could try to get pregnant again after 3 cycles, and at first we were impatient.  My cycles have never been very consistent, and it took almost 2 months after the D&C for my first period.  By the time we could start trying again, we (mostly I) weren't emotionally ready.  I felt so betrayed by my body, "why couldn't it just do what it's supposed to?"  We took this time to grow closer as a couple, taking a few little vacations and learning to be happy with what we had together.  We got to a place where we were okay if it did end up just being us (no kids).  It wasn't what we had dreamed of, but it was something we came to terms with.  I think once we got to this point we were ready to try again.

This is where my pragmatic side kicked in.  I thought, "I'd prefer to not be super pregnant during the hot summer months, and I'd prefer to not have the baby during cold and flu winter months."  So I mapped out a calendar of the months it would be ideal to conceive. The earliest month was June (a March baby) and the latest was October (July baby), but I was willing to go as late as January (October baby).   

We had also decided we wanted to try on our own for a while before going back to fertility treatments.  The plan was to use the ovulation tests on our own, and go from there.  Since it had taken so long to get pregnant before and my cycles were all over the place (32-50 days), I wanted to do kind of a trial month with the ovulation tests just to make sure I was ovulating again.  I picked May to do the trial, since it was right before my planned conception months started.  What was the chance of getting pregnant on the first shot anyway?

A pregnancy test should be pretty accurate 2 weeks after the positive ovulation test, which meant I could test on June 8th.  I've never been very good at waiting until my expected period (I've lost count of how many pregnancy tests I've taken), so for kicks I took one on June 3rd.  It was 5 days early, but that's the soonest the test said it would work.  It came back negative.  By this point I had learned to expect the negative result, so it wasn't much of a surprise.  "Well, I guess there's always next month."

On June 5th as I was getting ready for work I started feeling a little queasy (like mild motion sickness) and the thought popped into my head, "hmmm, this is what it felt like when I was pregnant, weird."  And as quickly as it came, the thought was gone and I moved on with my day.  June 8th rolled around, and I thought, "What the heck, I'll take another test just to be sure."  Sidenote: When we were doing the fertility treatments last year, Doug and I had a ritual.  I would take the test and leave it on the bathroom counter, and he'd go in and look at the result before me.  I thought about doing that again, but I really had to pee and I didn't want to wake him up for a negative result.  But that's not the result I got.

I looked at the test in disbelief.  Shouldn't there be the word "NOT" before the word "PREGNANT"?  I don't know how long I stood there, mixed emotions is an understatement.  Of course I'm happy. No I'm not. How did it happen so soon? First try? This is awesome. This is horrible, what if I miscarry again?  I felt like crying out of sadness, but couldn't help smiling at the same time.  Now I had to go and wake up Doug and show him....  He was happy, but had the same mixed emotions.  It became real again.  As much as we thought we were prepared or okay with living without kids, this test brought back the possibility.  The possibility of finally getting what we dreamed and hoped for, or the possibility of going through hell again.

I'm going to try and quickly cram in the last 3 months in a large nutshell so this post doesn't go on forever. June: I called and made my fist prenatal appointment for July 23 (they want to see you at 10-12 weeks), but I was having some spotting so they had me come in to the lab for blood tests just to make sure my HCG was rising normally and they did an early ultrasound.  They thought the baby measured a little small so I went in two weeks later for another ultrasound.  At this one I measured about 7 weeks and I saw the heartbeat, so that was comforting.  July:  I guess that second ultrasound technically happened in July, it was right after we got back from our trip to Baltimore.  The next few weeks I stressed out everyday because I was still spotting on and off.  I freaked out the most in the few days leading up to my appointment, I was so worried it would go the same as last time - I'd get in there and find out the baby was gone.  Thankfully it was good news, and I love my OB/GYN.  She is one of those bubbly people who automatically puts you in a good mood, and she had obviously read my file and was super sensitive and understanding about my fears of miscarriage.  We got to hear the heartbeat for the very first time ever.  I thought it sounded like a train (chug-a-chug-a-chug-a), and we even saw the baby kick around and move.  Both Doug and I were close to tears, but we held it together.  I found out the reason for my spotting, a stupid cervical polyp.  It's benign, but it will probably cause spotting the entire time and freak me out.  August:  The happy feeling of relief from my last appointment lasted about a week, and then I was back to stressing out.  I knew that making it to 11 weeks was pretty good, and the chance of losing it was low, but I still stressed about it.  I had my next appointment Aug. 20th, and in the days leading up to it, I was just as nervous as before.  But that appointment went well.  I didn't have an ultrasound (the next and last ultrasound will be Sept. 24th), instead my doctor used her doppler machine and she found the heartbeat pretty quick, much to my relief.  That appointment was pretty quick, and I can breathe a little easier now that I'm in the second trimester.

It looks like I just ate too much, but I promise there's a baby in there. (15 weeks)

Memorial Day Trip

Doug wanted a nice camera for his birthday, so when Doug and I went to San Diego over Memorial Day weekend, we broke it in.  Be prepared for lots of pictures.

We used our free nights from Marriott to stay at a hotel right next to the beach in Oceanside.  Literally a 3 minute walk to the pier.  It was awesome.

On Friday we went to the San Diego zoo.  In the last year we've been to this zoo more times than the Hogle zoo.  Probably because it's 100x better.  The weather was PERFECT!  I think it was about 70 degrees and overcast.  So the pictures turned out nice, and we didn't get sunburned.

This is the Pappa giraffe.  He really gets around.

A good example of what a nice camera can do.

Normally we never see this little guy (Arctic Fox).  Look at that little face.

Snow Leopard

The majestic Sun Bear

 

I didn't think Doug was actually taking a picture

Baby orangutan.  Look at its hair!

So then Saturday we went to the Safari Park.  Again, the weather was really nice.  It wasn't too hot or too sunny most of the time.  I think our favorite part was the lion cubs.  They were just born in December and the mother rejected them, so they've been raised by the keepers.  They get to be out in the exhibit for half the day and then they swap with the parents.  The cubs were so active and romping around, it was really fun to see.  They also opened up their new tiger exhibit (that day, so it was super crowded).  They have six tigers, so you're bound to at least see one (they like to hide).  We also did the caravan safari again (because we can!) and it was just as fun the second time.

She has a little baby in her lap.

They have prickly whiskers, and their spit is really yucky.

That can't be comfortable.

I didn't count how many giraffes they have, but it's a lot.

That about sums things up.  Sunday we relaxed and walked on the beach, and then Monday we pretty much spent the day at airports.  Now our next vacation is the trip to Baltimore.  We're excited to see you all!

Let's play catch up

Work:
Doug is still working in Salt Lake at the same job.  They recently put him on a new project that he really enjoys doing.  It's a lot of techy stuff that I don't fully understand, but whatever makes him happy.

I'm still at the same company, but I've changed positions.  Now I'm working in Production (instead of Customer Service/ Sales).  I like it a lot better.  I don't have any interaction with customers anymore (except when they ask me to help out in Order Entry), so my phone never rings.  I'm on the Production Coordination team, so we make sure that once Order Entry enters the orders they get submitted correctly to production and from that point we make sure they go where they're supposed to in production.  It's mostly data entry type stuff, so I'm right in my element.  I like to think I'm good at it, I've caught a lot of things that would have been done wrong and corrected them.  I should have my 90 day review soon, so we'll see if I get a raise as well.

My company has also moved to a new building.  It was a big deal.  The new building is in West Jordan, so it only takes me 20 minutes to get to and from work (even when I leave at 5 in the afternoon).  I'm happiest about that.  We were really anxious to get out of the old building, so everything wasn't completely ready when we first moved in.  It took a week for them to build our desks (for Production Coordination) so in the meantime they had the three of us set up on a small circle table.

This was my "desk" with about 4 inches to move my mouse.

Travel:

Doug found out about the Southwest Companion Pass, so basically when you have it, you buy a ticket and a "companion" can fly for free.  We got the Southwest credit card while they were doing a 50,000 point promotion, so we just needed 60,000 more points to get the pass.  To be honest, I don't know exactly how we did it because Doug handles all the money stuff, but we did (I'm sure he explained it all to me, but whatever).  So we have the pass for the rest of 2014 and all of 2015.  We already took a weekend trip (left Friday after work and got home Sunday night) to San Diego over Valentine's Day.  We're going to Los Angeles next weekend over Easter, and I think we're planning on San Diego again over Memorial Day weekend.  We're trying to focus on having fun for a while and enjoy the stage of life we're in right now.  Plus, we've wanted to travel more, and this makes it really affordable.

The Cats:

I'm sure you're all dying to know how the cats are doing, but were too embarrassed to ask.  Don't worry, I'll tell you.  They are doing great.  Pepper is getting a little chubby, but who doesn't love a fat cat?  Milo is the same as always, such a little menace sometimes - but too adorable to be mad at.  Here are some pictures:

I had to put my scones in the oven to cool, because he was too interested in them.

Playing with the Christmas present

They loved the toy mice they got. 

I don't even know what's going on here.

I forgot to put the twistie tie on the bread.

Typical nap time.

She keeps pulling the feathers out, and then Milo comes along and eats them.

Her favorite warm spot

Lizzie:

Yes, I get a whole section all about myself.  For Christmas, Doug bought me an exercise bike (I totally asked for it, it wasn't a subtle hint or anything).  Then in January my company started a Biggest Loser competition.  We all know how much Pecora's love a good competition, and the entry fee was only $10.  I also started doing Weight Watchers, because I wasn't doing very well on my own.  We just had the final weigh in this last Friday, and I won 3rd place!  I only started making it in the Top Ten in March, but I really kicked things up a notch to cinch it in the end.  First place won 50% of the jackpot, Second place got 30%, and Third got 20% which equaled $50!  I lost a total of 12.06% (First place lost over 13%).  I also started the Couch to 5k running program, and I hope to jalk (jog/walk) a 5k sometime this summer.  I really dislike running, but unfortunately it happens to be really good at helping me lose weight.  I hope that once I get my breathing technique down it won't be so bad, and maybe one of these days I won't have to use my inhaler!  But I have gotten to the point where I like exercising and miss it on the days I can't.  It feels good to take control and see results.

I misjudged some rain clouds and got soaked on a run.

Treated myself to a cat purse (it was on clearance).

The smallest strawberry I've ever gotten at Zupa's, next to the biggest one I've ever seen.